My husband and I are married for almost two years now, though we've been together for almost 6 years already. As a couple, we have misunderstandings and shortcomings like others do. Yes, we are not perfect. We sometimes fight over stupid things, but we usually kiss and make up in the end.
Last Sunday, I attended Miss Christine Bersola-Babao's Parentin.TV event titled I Love My Family. One of the speakers, Maribel Dionisio of Love Institute Philippines, made me realize that there are things that I haven't done yet as a wife and partner. She talked about the emotional needs of men and women, based from Willard F. Harley, Jr's book His Needs and Her Needs.
MEN'S EMOTIONAL NEEDS
1. Attractive Spouse. Know what makes him turned on about your hair, clothes, make-up and even night wear. Keep the sweet fragrance and attractive look all day and at nighttime too.
2. Recreational Companionship. Be pleasant and available companion during his office parties, social events or recreational interests whether basketball or mere jogging. Have a weekly couple date an an annual couple vacation.
3. Admiration. This includes letting him know how you admire hims as your spouse and appreciation for his efforts to support the family financially and emotionally. He needs you to be proud of him.
4. Domestic Support. Men want to go home to a loving home with peace and quiet. Reading the day's newspaper or watching TV may help him, then serving him a tasty dinner.
5. Sexual Fulfillment. Physical intimacies include kissing and caressing. It is not just the twice a week suggested sexual intimacies as studies show.
WOMEN'S EMOTIONAL NEEDS
1. Family Commitment. Scheduling sufficient time and energy for the moral and educational development of your children, reading to them, playing with them, taking them on frequent outings; educating self in appropriate child training methods and having a mutually agreed parenting style.
2. Financial Stability. Provision of the financial resources to house, feed, and clothe your family at a standard of living acceptable to you, but avoiding travel and working hours that are unacceptable to you and will reduce family time.
3. Affection. Showing love through words, cards, gifts, hugs, kisses and courtesies; creating an environment that clearly and repeatedly expresses love.
4. Conversation. Talking about events of the day, feeling and plans; avoiding angry or judgmental statements or dwelling on past mistakes; showing interests in your favorite topic of conversation.
5. Honesty and Openness. Revealing positive and negative feelings, narrating events of the past, daily events and schedules, plans for the future; not leaving with a false impression , answering your questions truthfully.
Lesson Learned from Miss Maribel Dionisio's Talk:
-For a happier relationship, couples should able to support each other's emotional needs as to keep the love burning.
-Men and women have different emotional needs and none of these needs are identical.
Well, at least I know what are the things to prioritize in response to my husband's need. I just have to first focus on the areas that I need more improvement. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!